Unsaid

A life-changing experience when, several years ago, I read that when we die there is "so much left unsaid." I felt struck in the pit of the stomach. I had so much in me, so much I thought of importance, that had never been said to any of the appropriate people.

Starting with my wife at the head of the list, I made a commitment to leave nothing unsaid. And since I knew not the span of my life, I began immediately finding occasion to say it all. To her, the rest of the family, colleagues, friends, and enemies (yes, I had some things to say to them). As a university professor, I made it a point to include as much as possible of what I wanted to say (within the parameters of my discipline) in the classroom.

There was so much, however, that went beyond family, friends, enemies. I've done a good job of getting most of that said. In that sense I am ready to die, But....

So much still in me that needed to be said (at least that is what I think and smartingly feel). So, upon retirement, I began writing a couple of books and thinking of another or two. Then I began blogging and recently started three different Twitter accounts. I intend to continue writing, for public consumption, the rest of my life, God willing. I want to get it said, as much as in me is possible.

And you? If you were to die soon, how much that you want to say, ought to say, would be left unsaid?

Secrets, What to Do with Them

"...a secret is something that is revealed to one person at a time." --John LeCarre

I have a secret. What do I do with it/ If I keep it to myself, it is a true secret? It is private part of who I am. It is not public. No one else knows about this part of me. It is a part of me that no one can own. It is part of what makes me a distinctive person.

If I tell someone else, anyone else, it is no longer a secret. "Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead." It is a rare person who can keep a secret. It is risky and potentially dangerous to share it with anyone. If they tell someone else, it is likely to spread, and that which was unique to me is now part of the public perception of me, and may become a subject of gossip.

On the other hand, if I tell my closest friend, a friend who I know can keep secrets, then my friend and I have something that we alone can share. It gives our friendship a deeper and richer element. It enhances intimacy.

If I tell several close friends, and if they are people who can be trusted to keep confidences, we become a close-knit group sharing something that distinguishes us from the rest of the world. We appreciate the trust and support.

On still another hand it is common for us to, as LeCarre says, to tell one person at a time, telling each of them to tell no one else. We ask them not to, but we continue telling several. At some point secrecy is likely to break down.

Telling secrets, our own or one entrusted to us by someone else, is risky and often dangerous. On one hand it is a way to enhance intimacy and bind people more closely together, on the other hand it is one of the most common ways of damaging the relationship we had with someone whose trust we have now betrayed.

So, what are we to do with our secrets? Be mighty careful about them.
On the other hand,

The Cost of Morality

In Susan Howatch’s novel, Sins of the Fathers, Teresa says to the banker, “I don’t believe in capitalism. I think it’s immoral.” He replies, “Morality is like mink, it’s great if you can afford it.”
In Twenty-first-Century society in the United states, morality is not on the “in” list of concepts. It definitely is “out.” The bottom line is in. The self is in. Success is in. The moral perspective on things is considered a nice but outdated concept. Nietzsche’s philosophy that morality is a sign of weakness, is for the loser, and needs to be revised in an upside-down manner is, perhaps unconsciously, the ruling philosophy.

“Morality is great if you can afford it”? That is true. If we are moral,that is, if we insist on doing the “right” thing, we are apt to lose out to those who insist on making a profit, winning first place, get promoted. Morality is okay to speak of if you already have all your bases covered, all your ducks in a row. Otherwise, morality is expendable.

Those of us who insist on being moral, acting ethically, doing the right thing, need to be aware that it often will cost us. True morality is aware of the price that must be paid, but knows that it will cost more in a different kind of coin if we choose to act unethically. If nothing else, our conscience will powerfully and painfully remind us of the cost of immorality.

Can we afford to do the right thing whatever the cost, or must we count the cost before we decide to live morally?

Censoring the Bible

“In recent years, some Benedictine houses, particularly women’s communities, have begun censoring the harshest of the psalms, often called the ‘cursing psalms,’ from their public worship.” --Kathleen Norris, Cloister, p. 97.

The church, across most of the centuries of its history, has acquired quite a reputation for censoring literature. Most unchurched people would be quite surprised to learn that the church, in its actual practice, censors the Christian Bible rather thoroughly. Thomas Jefferson is reputed to have taken his pen knife and cut out of his Bible every reference to anything miraculous, anything supernatural. It is still possible to buy copies of The Jefferson Bible. Christians decry Jefferson’s truncation, but themselves routinely do much the same.

If the Bible were made into a Hollywood movie, and if the movie were faithful to the text, much of it could not receive a “G” rating. Rather much of it would have to be rated either “PG-13,” or “R,” both for sex and violence. See in particular much of Joshua and Judges or the entire story of the rape of Dinah in Genesis 34 or the story of Judah--from whom the Jews get their name--and his visit with a “prostitute.” Read the entire story of David. When we tell these stories in Sunday School classes, we edit out those parts that would not be “in good taste” to read in polite company.

In our Bible study groups and in Sunday sermons, we get uneasy with parts of the Bible not only for sex and violence, but also because it is also comfortable with bathroom language, and with strong language of rebuke, bitterness and hatred. We don’t talk that language, or about those things in church, although we do everywhere else.

Darkness and ugliness are part of human reality and therefore a part of biblical reality. But because we see ourselves as clean, respectable, and nice people, we find that there is much in the Bible that it just would not be right to read publicly in church.

The World's Tears

"All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right,
And emptiness above--

Know that you aren't alone.
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years."
--Vikram Seth

Whatever you think of Jesus of Nazareth, if you read his story in the four gospels, you know that he shares the world's tears. He understands, and cares, and some of us think he has done and is doing something redemptive about those tears.